❤ Thursday, July 23, 2009
As most of you know,
I work in an Obstetrics & Gynae ward.
so everyday i witness people who come in for different surgeries related to the womb.
i also see many pregnant women.
ranging for a few weeks to full term.
i witness their new born child after they give birth and share their joy and anticipation before they give birth.
HOWEVER,i also witness women/girls (some younger then me) giving birth to a baby that they do not want.
eventually i am the one who pick them up, weigh them, wrap them up, put them in a little basket & leave them to die (some are already dead).
this is called
ABORTION also known as
MID TERM PREGNANCY TERMINATION (for those 3-6 months pregnant)
however,
i also witness women who give birth to babies that are already dead.
i feel so sad watching the stillborn child.
as usually for these women are the ones who
WANT the child, and yet somehow under God's circumstances, God has called the little one back in his arms.
i feel so angry sometimes.
for those i see no remorse or guilt after killing their own child.
but i have no right.
i remember the first time i carried a little fetus of a very young mom who aborted.
(i still clearly remember it was a baby boy)
and i was carrying it to put it into a basket for the mortuary team to come and claim.
i felt so sad and was close to tears
but this is my job.
i only have to act professional.
i came across this email.
for those who have already read it just skip..
Dear Mommy,I am in Heaven now, sitting on god' lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back.I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy.Now I couldn't all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to god and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father now. Then I was happy.I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live.I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.Love,Your Baby Girl im so glad,
i did not chose the
COWARDLY way of aborting my baby girl.
for she is
NOT a mistake but a
GIFT.as God will give you a child when He wants you to.
He always has a plan for everything.
and i am thankful for everything He has done for me.
i realized that i am truly blessed.
Written with much love @
6:24 PM
