❤ Thursday, July 23, 2009
i was tagging Adeline.
and asked her the same question.
AM I VERY KIASU COS I DONT BRING MY DAUGHTER OUT UNNECESSARILY DUE TO H1N1??i miss bringing her out to shop around.
=(
Written with much love @
6:52 PM
❤
As most of you know,
I work in an Obstetrics & Gynae ward.
so everyday i witness people who come in for different surgeries related to the womb.
i also see many pregnant women.
ranging for a few weeks to full term.
i witness their new born child after they give birth and share their joy and anticipation before they give birth.
HOWEVER,i also witness women/girls (some younger then me) giving birth to a baby that they do not want.
eventually i am the one who pick them up, weigh them, wrap them up, put them in a little basket & leave them to die (some are already dead).
this is called
ABORTION also known as
MID TERM PREGNANCY TERMINATION (for those 3-6 months pregnant)
however,
i also witness women who give birth to babies that are already dead.
i feel so sad watching the stillborn child.
as usually for these women are the ones who
WANT the child, and yet somehow under God's circumstances, God has called the little one back in his arms.
i feel so angry sometimes.
for those i see no remorse or guilt after killing their own child.
but i have no right.
i remember the first time i carried a little fetus of a very young mom who aborted.
(i still clearly remember it was a baby boy)
and i was carrying it to put it into a basket for the mortuary team to come and claim.
i felt so sad and was close to tears
but this is my job.
i only have to act professional.
i came across this email.
for those who have already read it just skip..
Dear Mommy,I am in Heaven now, sitting on god' lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back.I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy.Now I couldn't all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to god and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father now. Then I was happy.I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live.I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.Love,Your Baby Girl im so glad,
i did not chose the
COWARDLY way of aborting my baby girl.
for she is
NOT a mistake but a
GIFT.as God will give you a child when He wants you to.
He always has a plan for everything.
and i am thankful for everything He has done for me.
i realized that i am truly blessed.
Written with much love @
6:24 PM
❤ Sunday, July 19, 2009
my daughter is down with a fever since her 2 jabs on Friday.
brought her down to the PD at Gleneagles to get her jabs.
her current temperature is at 38.2 degree celsius.
i freaking paid
$256.80 for her 2 jabs just for her to get a fever.
Written with much love @
11:13 PM
❤ Saturday, July 18, 2009
YEAH. okay.
i know im getting so lazy to blog.
IM SO TIRED OF WORKING!
i have so many pics of my girl i want to share okay?
LAZY LAZY LAZY.
seriously lah.
motivate me to blog can?
Written with much love @
9:09 PM
❤
i miss my vain days..
what ever happened to Little
Miss Mrs Vain?
Written with much love @
9:08 PM
❤ Wednesday, July 15, 2009
sometimes i feel so tired of life.
i just want to lie down and fall asleep forever..
Written with much love @
8:11 PM
❤ Friday, July 10, 2009
SERAPHINA'S
FIFTH MONTH PROGRESS
- still drinking 100-150 mls of Enfalac formula.
- still partially breastfed.
- occasionally takes sieved fruit juice of oranges, apples, bananas & grapes.
- able to hold her own plastic bottle with handles to drink milk by herself. =)
- has started on cereal and absolutely LOVES IT!
- TEETHING!! =)
- plays and holds her feets!!!
- still loves her bath time.
(which includes splashing water with her hands and feets!)
- talks so much and makes so much noise when she is happy.
- likes to make "poooo" sound and her saliva can fly everywhere.
- reaches out to grip and touch things that interests her.
- complain queen.
- does not like to be left alone.
- can sit up properly now!! =)
(although still a little shaky.)
- does not like feeling warm.
- TEMPERAMENTAL!
- uses her hands to rub her eyes when she is tired.
- able to lift herself up when i hold her hands.
- getting cheekier day by day.
- likes to put EVERYTHING she can touch in her mouth.
- NO.1 kaypo queen.
Written with much love @
12:00 AM
❤ Thursday, July 09, 2009
LET'S BOOGIE!!!
Written with much love @
9:44 PM
❤ Wednesday, July 08, 2009
okay,
this Michael Jackson Final Goodbye is really making me emo..
but we only live once.
death is inevitable.
we come not to mourn over the passing of a person,
but for a celebration of a new life.
Love these songs:
Written with much love @
9:17 PM
❤ Monday, July 06, 2009
went to work for afternoon shift as usual.
hubby went early down to Bukit Batok Driving Center to do his final driving test.
IT WAS DO OR DO AGAIN.
and again and again if you fail again and again lah.
then he msged me at 2pm plus.
"dear, i failed."=(
then he msg me and said,
"i bluff you one lah."felt like smacking him okay.
(-_-")
but i was too happy & excited for him to be mad.
as if i was the one who passed lor!
i felt his happiness as if it was my own.
(maybe this is what you mean by your other half. =D)
im so proud of him to pass on his first attempt as well.
=)
after work,
HE DROVE THE CAR AND FETCHED ME
FROM WORK FOR THE FIRST TIME!!some how it felt so exciting & strange.
LOL!so i took some pictures for memories!
=D
i love you dear.
i
AM really really really proud of you.
<3
Written with much love @
11:02 PM
❤
Time is nature's way of preventing everything
from happening all at once.
Written with much love @
9:45 PM
❤ Sunday, July 05, 2009
was watching Michael Jackson's last rehearsal -
This Is It.dated 23/06/09 before he died 3 days later.
CLICK HERE TO WATCH.it suddenly occurred to me that we'll never know when we are going to die.
maybe tonight, or tomorrow, a week, a month or years later.
things undone, things unsaid.
not doing things we want to do in this one lifetime & later regretting.
not cherishing all those that is around us and taking each other for granted.
so i just wanna let all the people dear to me know that..
I LOVE YOU!and
YOU!and
YOU!and
YOU!=)
Written with much love @
9:23 PM
❤ Saturday, July 04, 2009
Nobody is Perfect.
If that person was,
that person probably won't be a
PERSON anymore.
He would probably be God.
Humans make mistakes.
Bear that in mind.
That is why we should learn to forgive & forget.
Because if we hold on to grudges,
we'll be unhappy forever till the day that we die.
Great.
I'm a philosopher now.
Anybody agree with me?
BREATHE.
Written with much love @
10:38 PM
❤ Friday, July 03, 2009
ME: "(im not going to tell you what i told my mom, its personal)"
MUMMY: "that's life my dear."
ME: (immediate reply) "it sucks."
MUMMY: "you bat."
she literally said you
BAT. and it made me Laugh Out Loud.
i still think my mom is awesome okay?
and yah,
i have a weird sense of humor...
=)
i know she would be there for me no matter what.
she would always support my decisions.
i know i can count on her for advise.
and i know she would tell me the truth.
(even if it hurts. *ouch*)
i know she would never judge me for who i am.
because she
KNOWS that this
IS what makes me,
ME.and i know she loves me too.
flaws & all.
=)
Simplest things in life are often neglected & forgotten,Until the day you start counting,You realised how much you missed.i hope someday my daughter will think of her mom this way too.
like i do of mine.
Written with much love @
6:49 PM
❤
IF ONLY I COULD..be a super mom.
IF ONLY I COULD..be a super wife.
IF ONLY I COULD..be a super daughter/daughter-in-law.
IF ONLY I COULD..
split myself into four.
so that i can spend more time with the ones i love.
ONE to go to work.
TWO to look after my daughter.
THREE to be with my husband.
FOUR to be with my mom & my family.
IF ONLY I COULD..go without sleepless nights & not get tired.
IF ONLY I COULD..make everyone happy i would not mind being the only one unhappy.
IF ONLY I COULD..so many things i wish i
COULD do or
COULD be.
IF ONLY I COULD..
things would be so much easier would it not?
Written with much love @
5:24 PM
❤ Tuesday, June 30, 2009
today i was almost late for work.
cos my daughter was being naughty.
breast fed her in the morning and she did not want to let go.
then after awhile i turned to hubby and told him that i
REALLY needed him to look after her if not i would be late for work!
hubby said it was her diaper and then he went to change her while i got ready a bottle of milk for her.
then in the end she did not want to drink.
(-_-")
before i left i "scolded" girlgirl,
saying she was very naughty not letting mommy go to work & not letting daddy sleep a little while more.
she looked at me and gave me:
her signature "m" smile.(i call it "m" smile cos when she smiles her eyes really look like the aplahabet "m")
see what i mean??
literally "M"!
makes me really wonder..
天不怕, 地不怕, 媽媽也不怕!
*faints*
Written with much love @
6:57 PM
❤ Monday, June 29, 2009
okay so i finally decided to blog today.
with my daughter sitting right infront of me playing her toy.
itchy hand..
trying to touch my laptop.
yeah.
so we found out yesterday that my girl is already teething!!!
=D
this is
SO AWESOME!no wonder she has been so cranky & temperamental lately.
always so fidgety, always wanting to suck something & leaking saliva like a tap.
cant really see it yet.
but its like a white dot there.
BUT CAN FEEL IT!!
put my hand inside and touch touch this morning.
its quite to the front at the right side.
SHE'S GROWING SO FAST!=)
well anyway,
yesterday was Alex's Farewell Party.
(he's my oldest bro-in-law)
going to Australia to study.
SO EXCITING!!maybe he'll come back with angmoh girlfriend after that.
haha!
cool.
in the evening,
hubby & i left to head down to Town.
before that went down to Wisma Atria to walk around as i was looking for a new dress for hubby's cousin's wedding in Sept.
Nothing nice at Isetan either.
so headed down to Tangs.
oh btw,
ALL SINGTEL USERS GOT 15% DISCOUNT OFF AT TANGS!!!(cos they sent me the sms & my mom used it to buy new handbag the other day. never buy for me wor.)
hubby was so sweet & patient.
keeping me company while looking around, helping me look for saleslady for new stock or sizes and such & he was the one who found a nice simple white dress for me.
=)
i also bought another black dress to save for other occasions.
=P
SHOPPING MAKES ME HAPPY!no more spending already.
later no more money!
time to start saving!
after that we headed down to Cathay to watch Transformers.
nice movie!
=)
as good as the first.
reached home quite late.
cos the movie was so long & we caught the
8pm slot.
so nice to stay at home today.
=D
will be heading down for Family Portrait down at some Studio before Alex leaves on Wednesday.
oh btw,
look what came in the mail a week ago?
Take me to Tokyo.
imported from the
US. thought angmoh sizes will be bigger as asian babies tend to be smaller size.
we bought the 6-12 months one and to our surprise it seems small for 6-12 months.
have to let girlgirl wear it soon as it may be getting smaller.
in case you dont get what it means..
anyone watch Godzilla the movie?
apparently Godzilla was in Tokyo.
so yeah...
those who
STILL dont get it.
nvm.
=)
other designs i like! :
This is the oldest I've ever been.
cookie loves milk.
song of the sea.buey tahan.
here are some pictures of my girl wearing her new PJ romper bought by my mil at John Little.
SO DARN CUTE ALSO I TELL YOU!!
and she loves it too!
happy girl!
thats all for now.
am going to pack up the room while my daughter is sleeping and now that i have the time and am in the mood.
<3
Written with much love @
12:45 PM
❤ Sunday, June 28, 2009
Just came home not long ago.
went to Cathay to watch Transformers!!
nice show.
=)
but it was 2 and a half hour movie.
so halfway while watching, apparently mil msg me & hubby saying girl girl has already had her
FIRST TEETH!!!
OMG!!!is it too early to be teething before 5 months old??
came home wanted to see but sleeping le.
nvm!
tomorrow shall see.
off day tomorrow!
wheeee~~~~~~
Written with much love @
11:49 PM
❤ Friday, June 26, 2009
I've got
LOADS to update!
but i have already had 4 morning shifts in a row.
and tomorrow will be final one.
im so tired..
every time i reach home all i want to do is sleep.
but i cant.
cos i have to look after my girl.
and after bathing her & feeding her milk,
its my turn to sleep.
today was a bad day for me..
(except being able to finally meet Jen!) =D
i hope tomorrow will be a better one.
=(
will try to blog & reply tags as soon as possible okay?
good night!
Written with much love @
8:51 PM
❤ Sunday, June 21, 2009
woke up early to go to church.
and precious used the new bottle that we bought at Taka yesterday.
=)
im so proud of her.
she's able to hold it but still unsteady.
but its okay.
she's learning.
=)
dressed her up in a nice pink set with a matching hat!
so cute okay??
with nice white shoes!
she look like a little french girl.
LOL!i told hubby i wanted to draw mustache on her and let her hold a baguette so it would complete the outfit.
kinda likedat.
CUTE RIGHT???
LOL!!!
sorry no Adobe Photoshop on my laptop.
ok lah put nicer photos of my baby girl.
im such a bad mummy..
oh it was also Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day to my fil & hubby & to all dads out there!
this day is dedicated to you.
;)
after church hubby & i went out to chinatown to meet his sec sch friends for lunch.
headed down to Vivo and ate at Earle's Swensens there.
the food is not as nice as it used to be.
what a disappointment.
after that i had fun shopping around.
surprisingly i did not buy anything at all!
not even for my daughter.
I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!=)
after that we went home to rest for awhile before heading down to Boon Tong Kee for Father's day celebration.
just got back home not long ago..
im gonna rest.
need to work tomorrow.
=(
Written with much love @
8:31 PM
SERAPHINA'S
Simplest things in life are often neglected & forgotten,
her signature "m" smile.
see what i mean??
Take me to Tokyo.
This is the oldest I've ever been.
cookie loves milk.
song of the sea.
happy girl!
